Party like its your job.
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          This weekend rocked, friday night Bob and Audrey crashed here on their way to Bar Harbor (in Maine). Also attending was Jess (the famous winner from our trip to Philly), who brought two of her friends Leah and Ami. Bob and Audrey took off for Maine around noon on saturday. Being of age, those who remained went out Saturday night looking for trouble.
          We left the house pretty early saturday afternoon, I'd say 4ish. On the way into the city I convinced everyone it would be awesome to catch the 7pm Red Sox game and they seemed interested. We parked in the basement of the Prudential building and strolled over to the Fenway area. On the way we passed a fellow making out with his girlfriend against a building. We yelled and cheered for him. Gee... I wonder if thats an indication of anything. Anyway... When we got there the game was sold out. Being 2 hours before game time there were no scalpers to be had, so we did what any red blooded American would do: drink.
          We went into the Cask and Flagon. For those that don't know it, its a famous sports bar that occassianally gets pegged by long homeruns. There was no line outside, but inside was standing room only. We peed, found a waitress and got to work finding a table. Right away I knew it was a good thing to have girls with us. They proved their worth at various points in the evening getting us tables and in some cases free beer. Good times.
          After a few pints at the Cask and Flagon our waitress suggested we step up to pitchers. Boy was she smart. We were all very impressed with her and immediately ordered a pitcher of Sam Adams Octoberfest. We are in Boston after all. Around 6 I poke my head out the front door to look for scalpers. There was a line for the bar. I was halfway down the steps when I saw it. The bouncer affirmed my suspcion that I would have to wait in that line to get back in, so I ran back in to get everybody. We chugged our beers and took off.
          The scalpers were huddled in a little group in Kenmore. Those cock suckers wanted 75 dollars per ticket for STANDING ROOM ONLY. We told them to F off and roamed on down to Jillians thinking it would be fun. It wasnt fun though. It was empty and you couldn't buy pitchers there, so we headed back to the cask and flagon.
          While at the C&F the girls quickly netted us another table and we began pouring pitcher after pitcher of beer down our throats. My cup never emptied. I think Jess held a grudge about what happened in Philly and continually topped me off to make sure I got as drunk as possible. The night degenerated rapidly as blood alcohol levels soared. Conversation ranged from sports to dating to whatever. At one point our loud discussion (all discussions are loud when you're getting drunk) about anal sex brought a female over from the next table so she could give us her view on the matter. All the girls present agreed anal sex was not fun. There was also apparently an ice fight that caused neighboring bar patrons to be hit by stray chunks. We drank solidly till the game was over and by now my memory is quite hazy. I know we went back to the club in Jillians, and I know we didnt need any more alcohol. I remember smashing chips all over the table because it was funny, and watching Leah fall all over people trying to dance. In the parking garage after, there was a confrontation with some asshole asian guy in an SUV. I know I started it, but Leah was in the back seat laughing hysterically saying "he's just mad cuz he's asian and has a small penis" We got home in one piece and passed out (except for leah and frank who were busy hooking up)... some drunk phone calls were made and the night was over.
          Sadly, my crappy memory missed a few important details. Below is the conversation where I learn all about what really happened.

JS518: wanted to thank you for a great weekend
JS518: the matt and frank inn is just full of fun and excitement
This Is Rummy: aww, i'm glad you kids had a good time
This Is Rummy: apparently frank and i live to entertain
This Is Rummy: you're more than welcome back as long as somebody does our dishies
JS518: how is your arm doing?
This Is Rummy: my arm looks STELLAR
JS518: wow
This Is Rummy: krisha got very motherly and was like "oh my god!"
JS518: wow did you tell her everything
This Is Rummy: i told her what i knew
This Is Rummy: i think
JS518: "this drunk girl kept trying to give me head and grab my junk"
This Is Rummy: and grab my junk?
This Is Rummy: jesus
This Is Rummy: why do i always miss the good shit
JS518: yea in case you were too drunk to remember it was not me okay
JS518: she grabbed your junk like 3 times
This Is Rummy: curse my broken brain
This Is Rummy: which she even?
JSa18: and then tried to make me grab your junk to make her feel better about grabbing it multiple times
JS518: ami
This Is Rummy: lol
JS518: leah just tried to kiss you a few times
JS518: man you remember nothing
This Is Rummy: my mind = poop
This Is Rummy: years of drinking has hopelessly damaged my mind and body
JS518: wow lots of great stuff could have happened to you and you wouldn't remember it
This Is Rummy: and its not my fault i'm so hot that i get molested
JS518: yes completly
This Is Rummy: its even worse when you're hot and rich and smart
This Is Rummy: and modest
JS518: i can only imagine
This Is Rummy: lol
JS518: hot rich and smart with a bmw
JS518: don't forget that part
This Is Rummy: and the bmw isnt even to compensate for something else thats lacking
This Is Rummy: its just nice to have a nice car
JS518: i'll have to ask ami about that
This Is Rummy: you think she has a good idea about the size of my package?
JS518: i dunno but i heard she definitly got a handfull or two
JS518: the whole way home "you aren't gonna tell ed you i grabbed matt's crouch right?"
This Is Rummy: lololol
JS518: ya she was funny
JS518: i think she grabbed my boobs like 4 times
JS518: i'll just tell ed about that
This Is Rummy: oh silly alcohol
JS518: nah it's not the alcohol
JS518: everyone just loves my bobs
This Is Rummy: lol
This Is Rummy: i dunno, i love krisha's boobs
This Is Rummy: they're magnificent
JS518: i know you kept telling us last night
JS518: loverboy!

So anyway, without further adieu, here is my arm. Apparently somebody bit me, and I can't recall which one of them did it. Oh Alcohol, what have you done. I know its faint in the picture, but just try to imagine. I know you can do it.

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